Time Flies

The fastest way to get over hearing your own voice is to start a youtube channel

Hello Hello!

I recently got a new laptop. A MacBook Pro with the new Apple chip- and boy oh boy is it FAST. But in the process of moving things over from my old desktop, I found this old video. And so naturally after watching it again, I decided to finally post it to Youtube. You should DEFINITELY WATCH!

The quality is horrible.

I ramble.

You can barely hear what we are saying.

But despite all that, I am so happy I have this video! And I am happy that I now have the confidence to just post it.

I wanted to start a YouTube channel back in 2016, and I thought this video would mark the beginning of my great YouTube journey. But I got in my own way. I didn’t think I had anything to say. So I didn’t start my Youtube channel until four years later when I thought I finally had something to say. I was censoring my own voice.

It turns out that one way or another, EVERYONE- whether they are producing, writing, filming, talking, or whatever, at some point will feel like they have nothing to say. The difference between the producers and the consumers is pushing through self-doubt.

I struggled to watch myself on video, hear my own voice, basically, I couldn’t even confront Myself. And watching this video I wonder why I didn’t have the confidence to post this?

So today I am grateful that I am capable of change and growth. I will try to remember that no matter what anyone else thinks, I think I have someone to say, even if it will just be me in a few years listening.

I heard this poem read by Marcelle Nader-Turner at the Dunedin Writers and Readers Festival last week and it illustrates what I am trying to say perfectly.

Love After Love by Derek Walcott

from his book Sea Grapes (Farrar, Straus and Giroux, 1976)

The time will come
when, with elation
you will greet yourself arriving
at your own door, in your own mirror
and each will smile at the other's welcome,

and say, sit here. Eat.
You will love again the stranger who was your self.
Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart
to itself, to the stranger who has loved you

all your life, whom you ignored
for another, who knows you by heart.
Take down the love letters from the bookshelf,

the photographs, the desperate notes,
peel your own image from the mirror.
Sit. Feast on your life.

Thanks for reading. Love yourself today! And always.